Ever visit a friend's or coworker's home and the host politely asks you to leave your shoes at the front door? It is at that moment, we know the night is going to be full of embarrassing jokes aimed at the stench steaming from our feet. Forget about trying to hook up with a random partner.

In any case, the problem is usually not the fact that we attended an overly anal persons home. It is because we know our feet are funky and we have not taken the time to care for them properly. So here are some suggestions.

Soak your feet in very warm to hot water for at least ten minutes. Use soap to wash them and do not forget the areas between the toes and lower ankle. Scrub them entirely with a coarse sponge to remove any dead skin. Rinse with clean water, not the soaking water. Dry thoroughly with a clean towel, get between those toes again. Wear clean socks and dry shoes. Do not wear shoes without socks.

Additional Suggestions

Burning and itching are not normal sensations for feet. Consider OTC sprays, gels, creams, and powders for athlete's foot and other conditions. Sneakers or shoes creating gag reflexes should be replaced. They most likely contain and are breeding the bacteria causing the problem. At this stage, washing them and/or placing an odor absorbing pad is a waste of money. For new shoes and sneakers, use fresh odor and moisture-absorbing inserts.

General Body Odor

It is an extremely uncomfortable situation, to get on an elevator and suddenly become enveloped in an invisible cloud of putrid stench. There are no excuses for persons who wear and promote their repulsive, selfish odor. It does not matter what country the person was born or the religion they practice or even the type of occupation they chose. The issue lies with their choice to offend the people around them. My personal opinion is we live in a society, where showers, baths, deodorants, body sprays, and colognes are readily available. Please have respect and consideration for the rest of civilized society, when traveling in public.

There are some persons who may have a chemical or biological issue with their natural scents. If the following recommendations do not assist, please consult a physician.

Get the Funk Out (General)

1. Take a daily shower and use a scrubbing sponge to exfoliate the skin.
2. Wash your hair on a daily basis.
3. Bathe after excessive sweating.
4. Use deodorants and colognes. Some may worsen the situation and create more intense odors. If this is the case, please consult a physician for advice.
5. Change the current diet practices. Some foods are known to create body odor like garlic.
6. Drink water to dilute or flush out the offensive scent creating foods.
7. Wear clean clothes including underwear. I have heard of people turning their undergarments inside out to squeeze a few more days of use from them. Do not do this.

Bad Breath

Gastrointestinal disorders, bacteria, diet, nasal or throat infections could cause halitosis (bad breath), but the most common problem is improper hygiene. The truth is not everyone enjoys or makes time to take care of their teeth. This is surprising because an attractive smile is valued among our general population. We spend thousands of dollars on corrective measures (braces), yearly checkups, cleanings, and tooth whitening processes, but yet many people still avoid general maintenance. There is probably no method to the madness, so I will just list a few tips. If none of the below rectify the situation, you may have additional health problems and should seek professional consultation.

Get the Funk Out (Breath)

1. Brush teeth in the morning and after each meal.
2. Brush your tongue.
3. Use fluoride toothpaste with baking soda. Baking soda is known to aid in absorbing odors.
4. Floss everyday.
5. Use breath mints, gum, or even gnawing on parsley could help
6. Focus your diet on raw foods.
   · Avoid foods that include spices, garlic, and cheese.
   · Avoid foods with a high scent factor like fish, deli meats, and
   . various oils.
   · Avoid beverages that tend to stick to teeth like coffee, tea, and . .
   . alcohol.

Loosing Hair

I can understand people being a little concerned about hair loss, but there are some who have an obsession with it. Usually, the problem is not with the loss of hair, but something else.

There is a restaurant I used to frequent (twice a week). Every time I went, there was an older gentleman who sat at the end of the bar. I had heard he was rich, lonely, and searching for a life partner. At first, I could not figure out what it was about his appearance that intrigued me, but there was something. Then, it dawned on me. He was wearing the most horrendous toupee I had even seen. Not only was the piece bad and too dark for him, but he was also wearing it sideways, like a rapper sports a baseball cap. I was entranced each time he scratched his head, it moved, and I was waiting for it to drop onto the bar. He looked completely ridiculous.

Of course, his issue was not that he was balding or the bad head rug. His issue was a serious drinking problem. If a person cannot manage to straighten their toupee or wig, it is a little too obvious; they have other more critical concerns.

Some things to think about

Hair loss can be attributed to several factors; heredity, diet, hormones, age, anxiety, skin problems, diseases, medical treatment, and others. It does not matter what the actually cause is, the reduction of head hair creates new challenges for the suffering individual. There are options regarding toupees, full wigs, hats, turbans, or even the poor attempt at the dreaded comb-over. Notice that all of them are a form of cover or disguise for their appearance. Losing hair is not just a cosmetic issue. There are psychological issues that need to be addressed like how a person feels they should look and how they feel about themselves. I think our society places too much emphasis on appearance. I would rather see a completely bald confident person than someone hiding under a dead animal. If you are honestly concerned about thinning hair or the apparent growth of your forehead, you should consult more than a medical professional, but seek out support groups or individual counseling.

Skid Marks

The topic of skid marks is considered by many to be disgusting. I agree it is extremely unpleasant to wander into a prospective mates bedroom and see a pair of underwear adorned with a hefty shit stain. It is at that moment, most of us rethink our intentions of attempting to provide oral pleasure. Here are a few quick thoughts to consider.

Thoughts

• If you have a "problem" with staining, you should reevaluate your ass wiping techniques.
• If you have dirty underwear lying around, buy a hamper and use it.
• If the garment does not get clean in one washing, throw it away.
• Hair within the crack of your ass can be the culprit. Explore options for hair removal.

Unwanted Hair

Ever see that woman with the mustache or the man with a wreath of hair billowing from his shirt collar? I worked with a young man who had hair so thick on his ears he resembled a troll. In any case, most of us have a form of body hair we wish to manage. It could be nose, back, upper lip, ear, or hair down there. There are remedies and actions all of us can perform to limit those embarrassing noticeable moments.

Popular Options

• Tweezing is painful and time consuming, but it lasts longer than the others.
• Shaving can cause irritation and sharp objects near those regions could be hazardous.
• Waxing is not a viable option for those who may have low pain thresholds.
• Bleaching just dyes the hair and does not solve the problem.
• Laser solutions are too expensive for the person with an average income and insurance does not cover it.

Recommendation

If you wish to explore this option it is at your own risk and I do not take any responsibility for your misfortunes. The solution that has provided me with the best results has been the beard and mustache trimmer. Invest about twenty dollars for a good one with a few attachments and learn how to use it. I have a detailed process in the book Average Single Male (ASM)-Uncovered if you wish to learn more.

Acne can be related to age, hormones, or hygiene, but primarily overactive glands cause it. With that in mind, the following suggestions should assist you in your quest to a clearer complexion. If you have a severe case, please consult a professional.

Get the Dirt Out

1. Avoid or limit the intake of alcohol, butter, caffeine, cheese, chocolate, sugar, dairy, high fat foods, and vegetable oil.
2. Eat more raw fruits and vegetables.
3. Wash with natural soaps.
4. Avoid makeup or skin creams that may clog pores.
5. Learn relaxation techniques. Stress can cause outbreaks.
6. Use OTC cleansing solutions as directed.
7. Treat trouble spots with products containing benzoyl peroxide.