1. . Respect is always a two way street. In most cases, if you give, you will receive. Treat each other as equal partners. Respect is commonly paired with consideration and there are four areas to focus on; basic manners, personal items, hygiene, and opinions.

• Basic manners: It isn't too difficult or time consuming to open doors, leave the toilet seat down, clean up after yourself, and maintain an acceptable level of organization. So do it.
• Personal items: If you borrow some thing, put it back where you found it. If you break it, lose it, or sell it, please replace it. If you dirty it, clean it. This is simple stuff.
• Hygiene: Remember when you two first started dating? You would shower, brush your teeth, shave, wear decent clothes, and deodorant. Maintain those habits. At times we may slip or "get comfortable" and end up taking our relationship for granted. There is nothing wrong with wearing sweat pants, putting on a few pounds, or not shaving. The problem occurs when the behavior is consistent and it affects the relationship with adverse consequences.
• Opinions: They are like assholes; everyone has them. We can listen, try to understand them, and offer our thoughts. There is no room for abusive language, physical contact, or even derogatory remarks. We need to respect others for their differences in opinion.

2. . Communication is probably the most difficult out of the three keys. Many women use hints as a way to tell us something. This is not a good communication skill to use on men. The ASM does not understand hints or the art of hinting. It frustrates and aggravates the male mind. If a woman wants the trash taken out, she should say, "Take out the trash," not "It smells in here." Men communicate differently. ASM's don't even hint, we just bottle every thing up until we burst into psychotic episodes. Eventually we will end the relationship because our partner "had no clue" how to satisfy our needs. My point is we could all use improvement in our communication styles. Basically, we all need to learn to tell each other what we want, when we want it, and how we want it; leaving out the sarcasm.

• What do you want? We all know what we want, we simply do not know how to ask for it. There are times, when we feel like the other person may judge us or maybe they might get their feelings hurt. So we either do not tell each other and life gets worse, or we do not say it properly. For instance you have a partner who is not into oral sex, how would you tell them you want them to go south on you? Option 1: During foreplay, aggressively shove their heads down there. Option 2: Twist into a 69 position and hump their face until their mouths unwillingly open. Option 3: Get oral sex from someone else and not tell your current partner. Option 4: Talk about why they do not enjoy oral sex and explore possible opportunities. The correct answer is Option 4. Your partner may have had a bad experience, or doesn't like pubic hair, or was taught that oral sex acts are gross. In either case, both of you should be able to discuss the matter and address it.

• When do you want it? Of course, there are certain appropriate times for just about everything. So, staying with the oral sex example, how would you tell your mate that you want oral sex now? Option 1: Take off your pants and say, "it is time to dirty those knees." Option 2: Just before having sex, would you say, "no dessert before dinner"? Option 3: Whisper in their ear, "hey, I would really like for you to go down on me now." Option 4: While driving down an open stretch of road, show your loins and ask, "It looks pretty tasty, doesn't it"? Any of them may work, but the most appropriate choice is Option 3.

• How do we want it? This is the most difficult to address because answering how is a personal preference. With how, we are telling someone to change the way they do something. Now what would you tell your mate if you wanted them to perform oral sex a certain way? Option 1: "lick it, suck it, and kiss it, you loin lapping fool." Option 2: Put in a porno focusing on oral pleasures and say, "now that is what the fuck I like." Option 3: "What are you, stupid? You don't really blow on it." Option 4: "I get the chills when you lick me right there." (Use of ears to steer is recommended.) Do I really need to tell you which one is the optimal choice?

3. . Tolerance has become the forgotten stepchild of many advisory professionals. It is consistently overlooked in magazines, journals, books, radio and television. Tolerance is a simple concept; we need to understand that every person is different. It is true, we all have thresholds and there are times we wish we could choke the living shit out of others, but that action will get us locked up. So the next time someone is pissing you off remember we have the following choices; listen and learn from it, walk away, act on it (in an appropriate matter), or change the way we feel about it. It is a waste of time arguing, fighting, and trying to persuade the other person to change. If you honestly cannot tolerate them, break up and find someone who has similar beliefs, habits, and thoughts.

• If you do not like people who are overweight, do not date fat people.
• If you enjoy a home cooked meal, find a person who knows how to cook.
• If you have a problem with people who have slept around, don't look for partners in bars.
• If you can't stand Republicans, find someone who agrees with your political views.
• If you need an atheist, stop looking for a soul mate in church.
• If children repulse you, don't fall for a single parent.

There are times when we feel we can overcome or put up with possible relationship issues, because we are so in love. True, we may be able to, but that is a choice and we will have to accept and tolerate the consequences.

Now, you know, what I believe are the critical aspects to every relationship. I could have overstuffed the material, but why? Everyone is different, every relationship is unique, and you might not have the patience to read it. In any case, remember relationships are only difficult when we make them that way. Use common sense as your guide and build on the things you already know.