It seems as though ISO (in search of) advertisements are just about everywhere. I have seen them on television, newspapers, magazines, and on-line. Even radio stations will have them broadcasted. I do not have any problems with people looking to meet others with common interests, relationships, or the occasional random hook up. I do however, have an issue with blatantly intentional lies created to deceive, manipulate, and trap people.

Lets take a look at the realities of the general population. Most women will tell you that their impression of the average guy is not extremely flattering. If a woman has been dating around, she knows there are some freaks of nature amongst us. Same with the dating male population, we have had our horrific experiences as well. Of course, we have all had our share of heartbreaks, disappointments, psychotics, addicts, nymphomaniacs, and abusers. We probably met these people in one of the below:

Top-Ten Places People Meet Mates

1. Friends
2. Family
3. Work
4. Bars
5. Parties
6. Church
7. Reunion
s
8. Shopping
9. School
s
10. Gym
s

By looking at the list, you should realize that each place offers either; safety, a common interest, or trust. Maybe a combination of all three, but yet we still did not have a good, stable, nurturing relationship. Do you really believe if you couldn't find true love in the above manner, the answer is hidden in the ISO advertisements? Let me tell you a story.

First a little background, a few years ago, I was feeling a bit distraught regarding the quality and sanity of the women I had been meeting. For instance, I met this one during a happy hour. Actually, it turned out to be a seven-hour happy hour. In any case, we had an awesome time for the first week. We did more together in one week, than I had done in six month long relationships. We danced, went to the theater, visited museums, had picnics, and just had too much fun. So what went wrong? During our one-week anniversary dinner, she asked me to move in with her. She even mentioned marriage. I told her, I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I wasn't ready for this topic. She tried to persuade me for several days. She called me at least five times a day for over two weeks. She finally stopped bothering me after I had threatened with police intervention. The moral is that I met this person in an atmosphere where I was comfortable, we had a level of trust, and common interests, but she turned out to be a commitment freak.

After that episode, I decided to explore my other options to meeting mates. I browsed a popular D.C magazine, the local papers, and then found an ISO place on the web. I figured, with the web solution, I could email/chat with them online, get to know them well, exchange phone numbers, and maybe obtain a decent picture, before I decided to meet with them.

Maybe I just like abuse or set myself up for disappointment, but I did this twice. Based on those experiences, I can say there are some confused people out there. What do I mean? I had received pictures and talked with them for hours. I thought I was being almost too cautious. Both times I was completely shocked. As for the pictures I had viewed, the first one sent me photographs of her sister posing on the beach. I was very tempted to ask for her sisters phone number, but I figured I would be polite and endure the experience. The second lady provided me with a picture that was over five years old. Do you know how many pounds a person can pack on in that amount of time? It must be pretty damn high. The Michelin tire man is a toothpick compared to this woman. Once again, I was Mr. Nice Guy, stayed, and paid for the twelve-course meal. Both times, I had ordered only a salad, because I wasn't sure I could afford their endless and relentless food consumption. With each breath, the food appeared to fly into their mouths. Go ahead and send me emails about how beauty comes from the inside. My point is not that they were rather large ladies, but that I was suckered, deceived, and cheated into believing these women fit my preferences for an ideal mate.

I can understand miscommunication, but apparently, there are many who do not know the definition of simple words like; attractive, considerate, bright, educated, and single. I have listed a few insights to what you may uncover while sifting through the ISO advertisements.

It all boils down to simple honesty. Instead of all this bullshit, wouldn't it be a nice change to see the following advertisements?

1. Searching for an 18-32 year old boy toy to rock my world. I am 40, married, and just need to verify that orgasms do exist.

2. ISO a species with breasts, vagina is a bonus, for useless conversation, pork rinds, beer, and meaningless sex. Me: overweight, masturbate, underpaid, unwanted and considered repulsive by the human race.

3. Female looking for rich fool to pay for trips, cars, and credit debts in exchange for sex and blow jobs. Fuck me over and be prepared for bribery and the talk show circuit.

4. Wanted: Hot attractive model type to explore raunchy sex fetishes with porky, geek type virgin. Female preferred. Would have had sex if the dog hadn't bit me.

5. Professional male, 45, attractive, considerate and looking for a girl between the ages of 19 and 25 to violate before wife and kids come back from vacation that I financed.

6. High maintenance, jealous, 30 year old psychotic SF ISO male who will provide constant attention, endure hours of nonstop complaining, and share medication.

The truth is that no matter how someone dresses up their advertisement, they usually aren't everything they say. If these people were so attractive, fit, handsome, sexy, intelligent, exciting, rich, or any other grotesquely abused adjective, they wouldn't be placing an advertisement. If they truly are, then there has got to be some other issue with them or their situation. It is that simple. They are most likely average people just like you, who are looking for someone or something different.

Just about everyone welcomes the opportunity to meet others with similar interests, hobbies, shapes, situations, and beliefs. The best advice, I can offer is to be careful if you decide to respond to these blatant lies. If you are the one placing the advertisement, please; be more considerate, fun loving, attractive, humorous, and by all means, stop the madness by being a bit more honest.